Lessons from living in six countries in my twenties
“What did living in so many different places in your twenties teach you?”
This question once landed in my instagram comments after I shared this video, and it’s one that made me pause. The answer isn’t simple to express in a one-sentence reply, but it’s one that I have often thought about over the years.
For anyone dreaming of moving away from their hometown, planning a big travel adventure, or wondering what actually happens when you choose a more unconventional path all together, here’s my attempt to put those lessons into words.
The Start of the Adventure
I left university with a Psychology degree I wasn’t sure that I’d ever use ~ and one thing I did know for certain: I did not want to go straight into the 9-to-5 working world and start climbing the ladder right away. I wanted to instead have an adventure and figure out how to live in all the places I’d been dreaming about.
During the decade that made up my twenties, I ended up living in London (one year), New York (ten months across two trips), Brazil (seven months), Paris (ten months), Copenhagen (five months) and Berlin (four years), with many more travel adventures in between. This period was a line dance between the ‘should’ of settling down and the deep desire for freedom. A journey that inevitably taught me so much.
Mindset Is Most Important
Over those years, I learned that, contrary to what most may believe, it doesn’t matter so much where you start. Whether that be with less finances, fewer connections or any other perceived “disadvantage.” Opportunities depend far more on your mindset than circumstance.
How much you believe something is possible, determines ‘the way’ appearing for you. I began this journey with £2500 that I’d saved during University, was without a family financial safety net (I’m a council estate born girlie) and managed to keep going through a mix of paid work, exchanges and creative problem-solving along the way. Belief came first, the logistics followed.
Distance Doesn’t Break Real Connection
I learned that you need not worry about losing closeness with your friends or family. When relationships are built on solid foundations, distance doesn’t break them ~ it simply evolves them.
The people who truly love you will not only stay, no matter how far or how long you travel, but they’ll also celebrate, accept and support that part of you too. You will also meet, even more like-minded, people along the way – some will only be short friendships for the moment, but others will continue for the decade to come.
Don’t worry about the quantity, quality is far more important. If out of the hundreds of people you meet along the way, you truly click with just one or two, count yourself lucky as these will stay part of your inner circle for years to come.
The importance of staying open
Living in different cultures taught me to listen more and judge less. Every person you meet has a story ~ and these stories are often windows into worlds you’d never otherwise know.
There will be encounters that stay with you and often, you won’t realize their full impact until years later. So, stay open. Be curious. Let people surprise you.
I learned that not having a strict plan is, more often than not, the best plan of all. Know where you want to go, but release expectations about how it will be when you get there and what will happen along the way. Life is generous with its surprises ~ if you give it room to be.
Travel Doesn’t Have to Be Expensive
I learned that you really don’t need as much money as you may think to travel far and wide. With a couple of thousands in the bank, and through internships, work exchanges, au pairing, volunteer positions, short term and long-term roles, I managed to live in six countries back to back.
Plus, some of the most beautiful moments don’t cost much at all ~ picnics in the park, sunsets spots, long walks, deep conversations, people watching. Travel isn’t about how much you spend; it’s about how fully you live. It’s connection, adventure, freedom ~ that kind of joy and fulfillment doesn’t come from material things
Freedom Becomes a Way of Life
Here’s the thing about expanding your world: once you do, you can never shrink yourself back into society’s expectations. Freedom becomes part of your DNA. It changes how you see yourself, the choices you make and what you’re willing to settle for.
There were moments when I questioned my path, but my intuition always guided me back to what felt right. As Shakti Gawain said:
“We need to be willing to let our intuition guide us, and then be willing to follow that guidance directly and fearlessly.”
It’s Okay to Start Over (and Over Again)
As a result of that, I learned that it’s always worth trying everything to create or keep a life you absolutely love, rather than staying on a path where you know you won’t be happy.
And if that means trying lots of different things, and starting over again (and again), crossing things off that you don’t like in search of what you do, that is completely okay. Your own timeline is the only one that matters.
True Wealth Is Peace
Most importantly, I learned that following the heart is the only way to feel peace ~ not just fleeting happiness, but true, grounded peace. Above security, material things and what society deems to be success, true wealth is determined by how much time you spend doing the things you love, surrounded by what feels right. Your feelings are your greatest guide ~ listen to them.
This Decade Is Yours
There were moments in my twenties when doubt or fear of falling behind crept in ~ like when I was working in a hostel in Rio de Janeiro in exchange for food and accommodation at 23, while my friends back home were getting steady salaries and their first job promotions.
But years later, I realised that I was actually never ‘behind’ ~ I was somehow already ahead by following my own rhythm and society’s timelines is something to be unlearned.
You don’t have to prioritize finding “the one,” getting married, having kids, or climbing the ladder ~ unless those are the things that truly light you up.
This decade is yours. It’s your time to get to know yourself, to shed what doesn’t serve you, and to build a life that aligns with your values. Freedom often means living with less ~ fewer possessions, fewer obligations, and fewer things that tie you down.
Let go of what society says you should do, and instead, embrace what feels right for you. Trust me, the life you design for yourself will be far richer than one built to meet someone else’s expectations.
The Lessons Never End
The list honestly could go on. My twenties were adventurous, unforgettable, and my greatest teacher. Bringing more lessons than I can put into words here.
And they truly laid the foundation for life in my thirties ~ a time where I know now more than ever who I am, what I value, what’s important to me and how I want to live.
And while I continue to spend months each year living in new places, whilst working for myself, THIS is already turning out to be an even better decade.
But finally I’d like my last words to be that the most important lesson of all, is that the lessons never end… and for that, I am endlessly grateful.
If you’re dreaming of living abroad or having a slow travelling adventure of your own, start small: research one destination that excites you or take one step this week ~ like saving for your ticket or reaching out to someone who’s done it.
The first step is often the scariest, but it’s also the most empowering. Trust me, wherever your journey takes you, know that it will shape you in ways you can’t yet imagine and teach you more about yourself than almost anything else. And that alone makes it oh so worth doing!
